Bribing, ahem, I mean rewarding your child still works so don’t forget to use this.
7. Give Your Kid Incentive to Behave. Certain situations are trying for kids. Maybe it’s sitting through a long meal at a restaurant or staying quiet in church. Whatever the hissy hot button, this is the trick: “It’s about recognizing when you’re asking a lot of your child and offering him a little preemptive bribe. While you’re on your way to the restaurant, for example, tell him, ‘Alex, Mommy is asking you to sit and eat your dinner nicely tonight. I really think you can do it! And if you can behave, then when we get home I’ll let you watch a video.'” Source: parents.com
A lot of toddlers respond to positive reinforcement and rewards.
Just make sure you reward for good behavior and not bad ones though.
How does a hostage negotiator usually diffuse a tense situation? Keeping your cool and speaking calmly can help diffuse a major tantrum situation.
8. Speak Calmly. This is a biggie — and is much easier said than done. But experts insist you must keep your cool during a child’s tantrum. “Otherwise, you’ll get into a power struggle and make the whole thing escalate. Plus, part of the reason kids resort to tantrums is to get attention,” Dr. Hoecker says. Source: parents.com
Look them in the eye and calmly talk with them to find out what is bothering them. Set an example for your kid and calmly talk the situation through.
Again, exercise patience and try to get your child to communicate with you.
Want to maintain a sense of sanity to a very public meltdown of your child? Having a sense of humor can also do the trick in diffusing a meltdown situation.
9. Laugh It Off. Every parent dreads public tantrums, for obvious reasons. You worry other parents will think you’re a bad mom — that you’ve raised an out-of-control demon child. Your best bet, is to suck it up, plaster a little Mona Lisa smile on your face, and pretend everything is just peachy. And what are others thinking? “We know from studies that the only thing people judge is your reaction to the meltdown,” says Levy. “If you look calm and like you’ve got it under control — yes, even though you’re not doing anything to stop the fit — they think, Now that’s a good mom.” Source: parents.com
Try being silly with your child. That kind of distraction can direct his attention on you and can possibly bust that tantrum.
Try to get your child to giggle and see how this can change the whole dynamics of the situation.
Here’s another way of distracting your child and getting his or her attention into something else … Just leaving the scene of a meltdown can divert a child’s attention. It’s also very easy to do.
10. Get Out of There. Getting kids away from the scene of the tantrum can snap them out of it. “It’s also a great strategy when you’re out and about,” says Levy. “If your child starts melting down over a toy or candy bar he wants, pick him up and take him either to a different area of the store or outside until he calms down. Changing the venue really can change the behavior.” Source: parents.com
The next time you feel the urge to spank your little one as a result of a tantrum going out of control, remind yourself to first stop and give it some thought. Don’t make a fuss out of it and model calm behavior.
Spanking is not a smart way to deal with a child having a tantrum. Spanking only reinforces with your kid that using physical force is okay cause their parents are doing it. It teaches the child to be afraid of his or her parents. It teaches the child that his or her parents will hurt them to keep them in line.
Instead, try using any of the above 10 ways to help pacify your child. These are better solutions that will positively impact your child in the long-term. In fact, here are 8 important reasons why you should not spank your child.
You can read more details about this well researched article by Shaun Dreisbach about how to deal with a child’s tantrums on parents.com.
Do you have other smart ways of dealing with a child’s tantrum?